fiction malort and threesomes

Malort and Threesomes…Good Bar Talk

Gotta be Malort

This guy he sits in a bar, it’s late, after hours, the people that tend to this rusty gem of a saloon clean up after a couple of punks whacked out and slim puked up six shots of Malort bought for them by horrid friends.

This guy here is smoking and drinking that same Malort Liquor, that snake pit leavings of a spirit, “You know how you get two girls to have sex with ya?”

This guy takes another sip of his drink, he isn’t whipped from the night, he’s still got a piece of mind, “You know how you get two girls to have sex with ya?”

A door man working from tonight along with a cook ask him how.  Knowing they know better than to ask.

“Tell them you’ve tried your own cum.”

The two members of the crew had no choice but to fall deeper into this abyss if they ever wish to get out.  They knew this guy, well, this guy maybe had been around a few times, this guy may have said things like this maybe more than a few times maybe.  But this one is sure to be a stunner.

Why.

This guy takes another sip of snake poison Swedish liquor Malort.  God I hate Malort.  Malort sucks.

“Because it’s all protein man.  You could feed that to babies and they would grow really strong.  Like really quick.”

The older gentleman behind the bar, bald, wore an apron.  No one wears an apron.  Well he does.  Keeps it clean these days.  Used to be a pistol.  Smokes a big cigar,  keeps a good bar.

What the fuck are you talking about?

This guy, he lights another cigarette, “Seriously, I mean think about it, that shit makes babies.  Gotta be good.”

Gotta be.

“I mean for instance, your with a lady one night in your apartment, you know how things are.  Chicago.  Freaks everywhere.  And the windows open, it’s hot, it’s summer.  And this guy, one of those freaks I mentioned is jerking off and shooting his cum through your window onto the floor.  I mean instead of being pissed we could be like scoop that shit up, and like feed it to your newborn. It’d be good for him. You never tried your own cum?

Laughter.  No.

“You never just, you know,” this guy dabs his pinky finger into a drip of Malort on the bar and touches it to his tongue, like he’s checking if the sauce is done, “No?”

Ten minutes earlier this guy was talking about Radiohead.

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