Last night I went on a Tinder date to Big City Tavern in Ft. Lauderdale. I took an uber to her apartment where she lived alone with several cats. She was of the hipster variety, many a tattoo on thighs and other parts, wielding a septum ring, weird collection of art on the walls, and heavy blankets strewn all over the furniture. I brought some herb and we smoked a bowl out of her Gandalf-esque styled bowl. She was listening to a Heems record and talked about her church. This is when I began to worry. If i’m being honest I haven’t dated a woman who goes to church…well…never. And I’m definitely the guy to talk about Jesus with, so that’s a whole other issue. But I kept it cool, it’s a first date, you gotta let things slide sometimes.
So we were supposed to get sushi but in the time it took for me to get to her place, she no longer wanted sushi. She wanted to go to Big City Tavern. This intrigued me because I had never been to this place before and I heard it was excellent. Plus I grew up with Louie Bossi, the owner and operator of Louie Bossi’s and former chef of Big City Tavern’s brother. Being that I haven’t been in South Florida in so long I have never had the opportunity to check out these places. So I figure why not? Last night seemed like as good a night as any to check the place out.
Last Night became strange
First of all, the food was fantastic, I had the Blackened Mahi-Mahi and she had the Big City Tavern’s Catch of the day, Swordfish. A little expensive I’m not going to lie, but great fish. Really, really great fish. But then this girl starts ordering Espresso Martini’s. Give me a break. We didn’t really talk much, I did most of the talking I think, I also think she was waiting for me to make a move, but between her photos, her jesus, and her espresso martini, I just couldn’t summon the urge.
It’s a nice place in there. I dig the fireplace and the pictures they have on the walls, one in particular with Babe Ruth and I think Lou Gehrig was really cool. The staff was great and I felt bad for the giant list of specials they had to recite. I mean, that was a bit much. How special can it all be if there are like six of them?
Back to Jesus
So after I finished my Gin and Tonic and she finished her Espresso Martini, we left back for her place. Thankfully she had given me a zyrtec because I’m allergic to cats so going back to her place wasn’t complete torture. We hung out and watched Shia Labeouf by Rob Cantor and smoked another Gandalf bowl. I twiddled my thumbs for a minute and took notice of the tarot cards on her coffee table. It’s time to leave.
I could tell she was a little miffed at why I was so quick to get out of there, but in the end she just wasn’t my type and I’m not saying she wanted to hook up, but definitely was surprised I didn’t try I think. So all and all she was nice, but not my type.
ProTip: Don’t talk about how much you love to get your Jesus on. This is tinder dating, it’s strange enough.